What to Expect in Your First Sex Therapy Session in Herndon, VA
You've done the research. You've looked up what sex therapy actually is, maybe read a few therapist bios, maybe closed the tab three times before coming back. And now you're sitting with the question that stops so many people right before they reach out:
What will we even talk about? Will it be uncomfortable? What if I don't know what to say?
Those questions make complete sense. Talking about sex — really talking about it, honestly and without performing — is something most of us have rarely, if ever, done. If you're just starting to explore this, it might help to first read what sex therapy is and who it's for. And if you're ready to keep going — here's what to actually expect.
Sex Therapy Is Talk Therapy (With a Body-Aware Twist)
Sex therapy is a conversation. There is no physical contact, no demonstrations, nothing clinical or medical happening in the room. You and I talk openly, honestly, without judgment.
My approach as an AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist includes something a little more than just words. I work somatically, which means we pay attention to what's happening in your body while we talk. Not in a way that's strange or invasive. It's a mindful awareness. A quiet noticing.
Why does that matter? Because your body holds so much of your story. The places where you tense up. The moments when something softens. The difference between what you say and what your body is actually doing. When we learn to notice those things, what feels joyful, what feels tight, what feels safe, it gives us real information. And that information makes you a better communicator, a more present partner, and someone who actually knows what they want.
Better body awareness leads to better intimacy. That's the thread that runs through everything we do together in sex therapy in Herndon, VA.
Before We Even Meet: The Free Consultation
I start with a free 20-minute video consultation. This is a no-pressure conversation where you can ask questions, share a little about what's bringing you in, and get a sense of whether we're a good fit. There's no commitment and nothing you have to have figured out before we talk.
After you decide to move forward, you'll fill out some intake paperwork: health history, relationship context, and what you're hoping to work on. This helps me come to our first session already thinking about you, not starting from scratch.
What Actually Happens in Your First Sex Therapy Session
Our first full session is mostly about getting to know each other. I'll ask open-ended questions about your background, your relationships, and what brought you here. I'll listen — really listen, without flinching or rushing you toward an answer.
Together, we'll start to map out what healing or growth looks like for you, and I'll give you a sense of how we'll work toward it.
You are not expected to have it all figured out. You don't need to know where to start or how to explain it. That's part of what I'm here for.
What You Might Be Asked About in Sex Therapy
Depending on what brings you in, we might explore:
Sexual concerns — low desire, pain, difficulty with arousal or orgasm, feeling disconnected from pleasure
Intimacy challenges — navigating closeness after trauma, grief, or a long period of disconnection
Your sexual history — when you first became aware that sex existed, how it was talked about (or not talked about) growing up, early experiences and what they taught you
Your attachment history — who were the people you felt safe with? Where in your life have you felt secure and connected? If that's never felt fully true for you, that's okay. Working through attachment-based therapy is often some of the most meaningful work we do together
Sexual identity and orientation — questions you might be sitting with, things you're starting to understand about yourself
Anxiety, self-worth, and intimacy — how the way you feel about yourself shows up in your closest relationships and your sex life
Communication with partner(s) — what you long to say but haven't been able to
You set the pace. Nothing is off-limits, and nothing is forced.
How You Might Feel After Your First Session
Many people leave their first sex therapy session feeling two things at once: relief and vulnerability.
Relief, because saying something out loud to someone who truly holds it without judgment is more freeing than most people expect.
Vulnerability, because it takes real courage to bring your whole self into a room like this.
Some people feel emotionally tired after early sessions. That's not a sign anything went wrong. It's a sign you did something real. Give yourself gentle space if you find yourself feeling this way.
What If I Don't Know What to Say or I Feel Awkward?
You can walk in and say exactly that: "I don't really know where to start and this feels awkward."
That is a perfect place to begin. Finding the words, finding the entry point into your own story in a way that works for you. That's something we figure out together.
Talking about sex hasn't always been free of awkwardness for me either, so I get it. A lot of us grew up in homes where sex was either not talked about at all, or only talked about in hushed tones and half sentences. We learned pretty early that this was a topic you don't just bring up at the dinner table. So walking into a room and talking about it openly, with a stranger no less, can feel genuinely strange at first. That's not a problem to fix before you come in. It's just part of where we start.
I'll use anatomically appropriate words, I'll use sexual innuendo or slang, I'll use whatever language you use, whatever helps you feel most comfortable. There's no right way to talk about this here.
I'm collaborative in how I work. I think of it as walking alongside you down a path, sometimes I lead, sometimes I follow, but I'm never leaving you to navigate it alone. You don't have to have the answers before you arrive. You just have to show up.
You Don't Have to Figure It Out Before You Reach Out
If you're ready to take that first step, I'd love to connect. I offer a free, confidential consultation — no pressure, no commitment, just a real conversation about what you're looking for.
Serving individuals and couples in Herndon, Reston, Tysons, McLean, Vienna, Fairfax, and virtually across Virginia.
