Come home to each other

Couples & Relationship Therapy in Herndon, VA

AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) specialist — for partners ready to close the quiet distance that's grown around sex.

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“We’re solid…but somewhere along the way, sex got quiet”

You want to protect what you’ve built while creating something more honest, playful, and fully your own.

For a lot of couples, there's a specific season this started in. A new baby who took up all the space intimacy used to live in. Months or years of trying to conceive that turned sex into a project instead of a connection. A body moving through midlife — menopause, lower testosterone, changes in arousal, stamina, or desire — that shifted what sex feels like for one or both of you. A health scare, a surgery, a medication, a stressful stretch at work that never really ended. An empty nest that left a silence you didn't expect. This isn't an exhaustive list, and it isn't anyone's fault — but chances are, something shifted, and neither of you quite knows how to talk about it.

Somewhere in all of it, there might also be a fantasy or a kink one or both of you has been sitting on — something you've wanted to explore together but never found the right moment to bring up, especially once things started feeling more fragile. The same caution that's kept you quiet about the changes in your bodies or your desire often keeps this quiet too.

You'd both still say the relationship is strong. That's exactly what makes this so confusing: nothing is technically wrong, and yet there's a quiet worry underneath it all — that if this distance keeps growing, it might eventually reach the rest of what you've built.

Whatever's underneath it for you — old attachment wounds that make vulnerability feel risky, a history of sexual trauma, or years of inherited messages about what sex is "supposed" to look like — you know something deeper is going on. And you're ready to face it together, without it costing you the relationship you've worked so hard to build.

That's work I know how to do. My background in attachment-based couples therapy and sex therapy means I can hold every part of what you're navigating — the emotional distance and the physical one, the shame you've each carried long before you met, and the fear of hurting the person you love most.

two people in close connection representing couples and relationship therapy Herndon VA

Sound like you?

You can't quite tell if you're both avoiding sex, or avoiding the conversation about why you're avoiding it.

Your body or your desire don't match what they used to, and some part of you wonders if that's a loss you just have to accept.

You'd rather stay quiet than risk saying the wrong thing and watching your partner pull away.

You catch yourself rehearsing how to bring something up — a fantasy, a kink, a need — and then deciding it's easier to stay quiet.

A baby, a pregnancy that didn't come easily, a body going through menopause, a diagnosis — something changed what sex looks like for you, and you're still figuring out what it means now.

I’m here to help with…

  • Desire Discrepancy & Intimacy Shifts Through Life Changes

  • Rebuilding Sexual Connection After Distance

  • Attachment Wounds Affecting Vulnerability & Sex

  • Sexual Trauma-Informed Support for Couples

  • Exploring Kink & Fantasy as Partners

  • Sexual Shame & Beliefs About the Body

  • Sexual Communication Without Fear of Hurting Each Other

  • Protecting Your Bond While Reigniting Passion

Here’s what we’ll do together

Therapy can help you protect the bond you've built while creating a version of intimacy that's more honest, more playful, and entirely your own.

We start by creating a space where both of you can say what's actually been hard — without one person winning and the other losing. You'll begin to understand whether closeness has felt safe in your relationship, and what might be getting in the way of it.

Then we look at how each of your histories with love and vulnerability shape what you need to feel desired, safe, and turned on. You'll get better at naming what you actually feel underneath the arguments — and at expressing it in ways that invite closeness instead of creating more distance.

Along the way, you practice reaching for each other differently. Expressing needs without blame. Setting limits with care. Staying present when things get vulnerable. When disconnection happens, and it will, you'll have a way to repair that doesn't require one of you to shut down or take all the blame.

Over time, many couples notice their relationship feeling more emotionally secure, sexually alive, and genuinely playful. The intimacy you build isn't just about better sex — it's rooted in deeper emotional attunement and the freedom to desire each other authentically.

At the end of the day, I want you to know:

You can create something deeper, playful and more connected than before.

What we’ll work on

Imagine a life where…

  • You can say “I want to try this” without rehearsing it for a week first.

  • Desire doesn’t have to look the way it did in your twenties to count as real.

  • A diagnosis, aging, or a body that’s changed becomes something you navigate together, not something one of you grieves alone.

  • Your sex life looks like the two of you. Not a script you inhertied, not exactly what it used to be, but something you built together, on purpose.

  • A new baby, a health change, or a hard season doesn’t mean intimacy disappears — it means finding new ways in.

  • You reach for each other, and actually get met there.

You don’t have to stay quiet.

Let's find your way back to each other.

Get Started Today

Offering couples and relationship therapy in Herndon, VA and virtually throughout Virginia — for partners of all relationship structures. Serving Herndon, Reston, McLean, Tysons, Fairfax, Vienna, Leesburg, Ashburn, and across Northern Virginia and the DC Metro area.

Questions?

FAQs

  • Not at all. Plenty of couples come not because something is broken, but because they want more — more intimacy, more connection, more of what they used to have. Therapy isn't just for crisis.

  • Yes. All orientations, gender identities, and relationship structures are welcome. Monogamous or not, vanilla or kink-curious, queer or straight, newlywed or long-partnered — all of it.

  • That's really common. I don't need both of you to be equally enthusiastic — just willing to show up and try. Sometimes the reluctant partner discovers that therapy isn't what they feared. Sometimes the work one person does starts shifting the dynamic on its own. We take it one session at a time.

  • Totally normal. We won't get thrown into deep waters right away. We'll build up to harder conversations gradually, and I'll give you language and tools that make it easier over time. A lot of couples are surprised by how much lighter it feels once they start talking about this stuff with support.

  • That’s common and that's actually useful. Partners almost always experience the same dynamic completely differently. Part of the work is helping you both see the cycle you're caught in, not to determine who's right, but to understand what each of you is bringing to it.

    You don't need to agree on everything to make progress. You just need to be willing to understand each other's experience.

  • That's actually part of the work. Conflict in session gives us real-time insight into your patterns, and I can help you navigate those moments differently than you do at home.

    If emotions get intense, I'll help slow things down, create safety, and guide you both toward understanding rather than escalation. Therapy is one of the few places where conflict can lead to connection instead of distance.

  • No. I'm not here to judge or tell you how to run your relationship. I hold space for both of you equally. My job is to help you see the patterns keeping you stuck and guide you toward something better.

  • No. Everything happens in conversation. Any exploration, play, or erotic connection happens in the privacy of your own home.

  • It varies. Some couples come for a few sessions to explore a specific question or curiosity, while others enjoy ongoing work to deepen intimacy and connection over time.

  • Yes. This is a kink-aware, kink-friendly space — whatever you're curious about exploring together is welcome here, without explanation or justification required. Some couples come in already knowing they're into kink and just haven't found a therapist who won't flinch. Others are kink-curious and not sure how to even start the conversation with each other, let alone a therapist. Both are exactly the right reason to reach out. We'll talk about fantasy, kink, and desire with the same curiosity and care we bring to every other part of your relationship — no judgment, no need to convince anyone it's valid.

  • Very likely, yes — and it's one of the most common reasons couples come to therapy. One of you reaches for connection; the other retreats to feel safe. Both reactions make sense given what each of you fears, but the cycle itself keeps you from actually getting what you both want. Naming the pattern is usually the first real relief — it stops feeling like "my partner doesn't care" or "my partner is too much," and starts feeling like something you can actually work on together.