Reconnect and feel close again
Couples and Relationship Therapy
Serving Herndon, VA & Virtual Therapy Across Virginia
Empowering couples and relationships of all structures in rebuilding physical and emotional intimacy.
“We love each other, but intimacy feels stuck”
You long to reconnect, feel emotionally close, and rediscover desire and playfulness together.
Maybe you and your partner have noticed a shift in your emotional and physical connection. Intimacy feels a little distant or routine, and desire has lost some of its spark. One of you reaches for closeness while the other pulls back, creating a painful pattern where you both end up feeling alone and misunderstood.
Perhaps you're curious about exploring fantasies, kink, or opening your relationship, but you're not sure how to talk about it without one of you feeling judged, threatened, or left behind. Maybe you've noticed desire differences that leave one of you feeling rejected and the other feeling pressured. Or vulnerability feels risky, like opening up might lead to hurt instead of closeness.
You've tried talking about it. You know something deeper is happening, something about whether it feels safe to reach for each other, whether your needs will be met or dismissed, whether being fully yourself will cost you connection.
That's where my training in both attachment-based couples therapy (EFCT) and sexuality (CST) makes a difference. I can help you understand not just what's happening in your relationship, but why, and how your early experiences with love and closeness are shaping what's happening between you now. This isn't just about better sex or better communication. It's about transforming the emotional foundation that makes authentic desire, vulnerability, and playfulness possible.
You want a space where both of you feel heard, where you can explore what's really happening beneath the surface, and where you can rebuild trust, emotional safety, and erotic connection without shame, pressure, or blame.
Sound like you?
You long to feel more emotionally connected, sexually alive, and safe being vulnerable with your partner.
Talking about desires, fantasies, boundaries, or what you each need feels scary, awkward, or leads to misunderstanding instead of closeness.
You love each other, but somewhere along the way, the emotional safety and playful desire you once had has faded, and you're not sure how to get it back.
You want to explore new territory together—whether that's kink, non-monogamy, or just more authentic sexual expression—but fear, shame, or past hurts are getting in the way.
One of you reaches for closeness while the other pulls back, creating a painful pattern where you both end up feeling alone and misunderstood.
I’m here to help with…
Navigating Desire Differences
Erectile & Arousal Concerns Affecting Connection
Exploring Kink & Fantasy as Partners
Opening Your Relationship
Rebuilding Intimacy After Distance
Partner Support for Painful Sex
Emotional Disconnection & Repair
Sexual Communication & Negotiation
Here’s what we’ll do together
Therapy can help create a closer sexual bond that allows you to grow together.
First, we'll create a safe, warm, and judgment-free space where both of you can openly share what's been hard about intimacy and connection. This is where you'll begin to understand whether closeness has felt safe in your relationship, and what might be getting in the way.
Next, we'll explore how your early experiences with love and vulnerability shape what you each need to feel desired, safe, and turned on. You'll discover the emotions driving your patterns around sex and intimacy, learning to express what you want in ways that create closeness rather than distance.
Along the way, we'll practice reaching for each other in new ways—expressing needs without blame, setting boundaries with care, and staying present when things feel vulnerable. When disconnection arises, you'll have tools to repair with compassion and move through difficult moments without shutting down.
Over time, you'll notice your relationship feeling more emotionally secure, sexually alive, and genuinely playful. The intimacy you build won't just be about better sex—it'll be rooted in deeper emotional attunement and the freedom to desire each other authentically.
At the end of the day, I want you to know:
You can create something deeper, playful and more connected than before.
What we’ll work on
Imagine a life where…
You and your partner talk openly about what brings you pleasure, joy, and desire without fear, shame, or misunderstanding.
Exploring intimacy, kink, or erotic play feels safe, exciting, and natural because you've built the emotional foundation for vulnerability.
Your relationship flows with curiosity, trust, and playful confidence, where both of you feel secure enough to be authentic and take risks together.
Emotional closeness, physical desire, and vulnerable connection come easily and joyfully instead of feeling forced, awkward, or anxiety-provoking.
When disconnection happens, you know how to repair with compassion instead of pulling away, blaming, or shutting down.
You don’t have to stay stuck.
Deeper intimacy and sex is possible.
Questions?
FAQs
-
Not at all! Therapy isn’t just for “fixing” issues. Many couples come to explore curiosity, deepen intimacy, or add more playfulness and connection to their relationship.
-
Absolutely. All orientations, gender identities, and relationship styles are welcome—vanilla, kink-curious, poly, queer, or anything in between.
-
Absolutely. Therapy is for any committed partnership, regardless of relationship structure, legal status, or living situation. Whether you're dating, engaged, married, polyamorous, long-distance, or cohabitating—if you're invested in the relationship, we can work together.Item description
-
It's common for one partner to be more motivated than the other at the start. I don't require both partners to be equally enthusiastic—just willing to show up and try.
Sometimes the reluctant partner discovers that therapy isn't what they feared. Other times, the work one partner does individually starts shifting the dynamic. We'll take it one session at a time, and I won't force anyone to stay in a process that doesn't feel right.
-
That’s completely normal. Therapy provides a safe, judgment-free space to take small steps at your own pace and communicate openly about curiosity, boundaries, and consent.
-
We start by helping each partner understand their own desire—what blocks it, what awakens it, and how it connects to emotional safety and attachment. Mismatched desire is rarely just about sex; it's often about feeling seen, valued, or safe enough to be vulnerable.
Rather than pressuring the lower-desire partner to "just try harder" or leaving the higher-desire partner feeling rejected, we work to create a space where both partners feel heard and their needs matter. You'll learn to communicate about desire without shame or defensiveness, and explore ways to reconnect that feel good for both of you.
-
That's incredibly common, even for couples who've been together for years. Talking about sex—especially desires, concerns, or mismatched needs—can feel vulnerable and awkward.
I'll help create a space where these conversations feel safer. We'll go at your pace, and I'll give you language and tools to talk about sex in ways that bring you closer rather than creating more distance. You won't be thrown into the deep end; we'll build up to harder conversations gradually.
Many couples find that once they start talking about sex with support, it gets easier over time.
-
If it matters to you, it's not minor. You don't need to be in crisis to deserve support. Many couples come to therapy not because something is drastically wrong, but because they want sex and intimacy to feel better, easier, or more connected.
Whether you're dealing with mismatched desire, curiosity about exploration, communication struggles, or just wanting to deepen your sexual connection—it's all valid and worth working on.
-
That's actually really common. Partners often experience the same dynamic completely differently. Part of therapy is helping you both see the cycle you're stuck in—not to determine who's "right," but to understand how each of you contributes to the pattern.
You don't need to agree on everything to make progress. You just need to be willing to understand each other's experience.
-
That's actually part of the work. Conflict in session gives us real-time insight into your patterns, and I can help you navigate those moments differently than you do at home.
If emotions get intense, I'll help slow things down, create safety, and guide you both toward understanding rather than escalation. Therapy is one of the few places where conflict can lead to connection instead of distance.Item description
-
No. I'm not here to judge who's right or wrong, or to tell you how to run your relationship. My job is to help you understand the patterns keeping you stuck, create safety for both of you to be vulnerable, and guide you toward reconnection.
I hold space for both partners equally and won't align with one person against the other.
-
No. Therapy is about conversation, connection, and curiosity. Play, fantasies, or erotic exploration are optional and done in the privacy of your own home.
-
It varies. Some couples come for a few sessions to explore a specific question or curiosity, while others enjoy ongoing work to deepen intimacy and connection over time.
-
Yes! We create a space together that’s affirming, playful, and respectful of all desires and orientations. You decide what you want to explore, and we guide the process safely and collaboratively.