Closeness Without Losing Yourself
Anxious & Avoidant Attachment Therapy in Herndon, VA
For the ones who hold on too tight or pull away too fast, in love and in bed. In person in Herndon and online across Northern Virginia.
What if closeness didn't have to feel so risky?
It's like every relationship ends up in the same place, no matter who it's with.
"Why do I need so much reassurance?"
"Why do I pull away the moment someone gets close?"
"Why do I want sex less the more I love them?"
If you've asked yourself any of these, you're in the right place. Maybe you're the one who watches your phone for their text, replays the conversation, and needs to hear it's okay one more time, because some part of you is sure you're not good enough in their eyes. Maybe you're the one who needs space the moment things get serious. Underneath, you don't feel good enough for them, and it feels safer to step back before they notice. And it doesn't stay in the relationship. It shows up in bed too: saying yes to feel close, losing desire as things get serious, checking out the moment you're truly seen.
None of this is random. Your attachment style is the strategy you learned to stay safe with the people you needed most. Some of us learned to hold on tighter. Some learned to need less. Those strategies made sense then. Now they're getting in the way of the closeness, and the sex, you actually want. That's where we begin.
Sound like you?
You need reassurance, and you hate that you need it.
Your partner leans in, you pull away, and then the guilt kicks in.
You'd rather handle everything yourself than admit you need someone.
After sex, you lie there wondering if it meant as much to them as it did to you.
Desire came easily at the start, then faded as things got serious.
I’m here to help with…
Anxious Attachment
Avoidant Attachment
Relationship Anxiety
Fear of Abandonment
Fear of Intimacy & Commitment
Attachment & Sex
Losing Desire in Long-Term Relationships
Repeating Relationship Patterns
Here’s what we’ll do together
Attachment-based therapy can help you feel safe in closeness, in and out of the bedroom.
We start by understanding your pattern and where it came from. Not to blame anyone, but so your reactions finally make sense: the holding on or the pulling away.
Then we slow down the moments when it takes over: the text that doesn't come, the partner who wants to talk, the closeness that suddenly feels like too much. Underneath, there's usually an old fear, of being left or of losing yourself. We get curious about it together, gently, at your pace.
Little by little, you learn to stay with yourself in those moments instead of grabbing on or bolting. With Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy and AASECT-certified sex therapy, we also look at how this plays out in sex, so desire and closeness stop working against each other.
Over time, you build what's called earned security: the steadiness to reach for people, and to have room to breathe, without either one feeling like a threat.
If you're more on the avoidant side:
You're not cold, and you're not broken for needing space. Somewhere along the way, closeness started to feel like losing yourself. We work on letting you have both: connection, and room to breathe. No forced vulnerability, and no pressure to perform feelings you don't have yet.
At the end of the day, I want you to know:
Closeness can be a place you rest, not a place you brace.
What we’ll work on
Imagine a life where…
A late reply is just a late reply.
You can say "I need some space" and come back without guilt.
Desire lasts past the beginning.
After sex, you can stay close without feeling trapped, or ask for closeness without feeling needy.
Love feels steady, not like something to win or escape.
You've been on guard for long enough.
Closeness can feel like a welcome friend.
Meghan Robinson, LPC, CST — AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist & EFT Specialist
Offering attachment-based therapy for anxious and avoidant attachment in person in Herndon, VA and online throughout Virginia. Serving clients in Herndon, Reston, Fairfax, McLean, Tysons, Vienna, Sterling, Chantilly, Ashburn, and across Northern Virginia.
Questions?
FAQs
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Anxious attachment tends to hold on: you need reassurance and fear being left. Avoidant attachment tends to pull back: you value independence and closeness can feel like too much. Both are ways of staying safe in closeness, just in opposite directions.
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Yes. With the right support, the patterns you learned early can soften, and steadier ways of relating become possible.
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Often more than people expect. Anxious attachment can look like saying yes to feel close. Avoidant attachment can look like desire fading as things get serious, or needing space after sex. Because I'm also an AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, we can work on both.
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Yes. You can start on your own, or come together for couples therapy, where we work on the cycle between you rather than on who's to blame.
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No. Your attachment patterns go with you into every relationship, so working on them on your own is a great place to start.
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Yes. I'm an attachment-focused therapist offering sessions in person in Herndon and online throughout Virginia, including Fairfax, Reston, Ashburn, and McLean.
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Sessions are $250. I'm out-of-network, and many clients use superbills for partial reimbursement